Old Mrs. Bell: a fractured "fairytale"

Well, actually a Christmas song. My least favorite Christmas song.

(Warning: Silliness ahead! Okay, carry on.)

In the backyard, Grandma Bell's green-cloaked figure lay stretched out, half sunk into the snow.

My brothers and I looked at each other with wide eyes. What kind of creature would be tough enough to best her? Even at 112, she could have won a fight with most of the younger wizards in the neighborhood. Nobody tangled with old Mrs. Bell. She was a grandma to be proud of, and all of us younger Bells adored her. If she was hurt...!

I recovered first and sprinted as best I could to reach her side. Then I looked back. The other boys huddled in the safety of the porch, watching me like owls.

"You chicken or what?" I hollered, but my voice cracked and betrayed me. I wagged my head with exaggerated pity. The act bolstered my deflating courage enough that I dared to wade the last few steps.

"Grandma?"

She groaned. "Sinterklaas!" came out like a muffled curse.

I knelt near her. "Are you okay?" I tried to ignore the ants crawling over my skin. What if it came back? What kind of deer had tracks that big?

She coughed and spit out snow. "Oh, honey, I'm fine."

There were rips in her cloak! And she said she was fine? "Grandma! What happened?"

"A Hyperborean deer! Knocked me down, insolent oaf!" Spitting out more snow, she sat up and took stock of herself. Her gnarled hands searched through the snow. "It's the third time this winter!"

I dug my mittens into the snow and uncovered her broomstick. "Here."

"Thank you, Daniel." She shook snow from her robes and mounted the broomstick. "Oh, I'll have his hide this time, if I have to chase 'im till morning!"

Sparks shot from the bristles and she sped away from us into the wintry night.
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The idea came from a list of parody song titles, here.